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Boundaries Face to Face, by Henry Cloud, John Townsend
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A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable---even dangerous---situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We're afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating. In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships. * Explains why confrontation is essential in all arenas of life * Shows how healthy confrontation can improve relationships * Presents the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation * Provides tips on how to prepare for the conversation * Shows how to tell people what you want, how to stop bad behavior, and how to deal with counterattack * Gives actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and more From the Book Sometimes people get confused in a confrontation because the other person gets them off track. If that happens, remember this formula. Empathize with their feelings or position, and return to your issue. Here's an example. Joe: 'I can't believe you were offended by my comments. You joke around more than anyone here. That's pretty hypocritical.' You: 'I understand it's hard for you to see, and I'm glad you meant it as a joke and weren't trying to be hurtful. What I'm telling you, though, and what I don't want you to miss, is how it affected me. It hurt me and I don't want to be talked to like that.'
- Sales Rank: #145454 in Books
- Published on: 2003-12-23
- Formats: Abridged, Audiobook
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 6.10" h x .79" w x 5.08" l,
- Running time: 10800 seconds
- Binding: Audio CD
From Publishers Weekly
Drs. Cloud and Townsend, whose book "Boundaries" sold more than a million copies and won a Gold Medallion award, have established a Boundaries franchise with niche titles on boundaries in marriage, dating and parenting. This book continues the flourishing series, with advice on conflict resolution and cultivating mutual respect. "Successful people confront well," the authors observe, laying out tools for readers to stop simply avoiding conflict and start having productive, loving confrontations. Their advice for such conversations is familiar: listen actively; clarify the problem; affirm the other person; acknowledge your own part in the problem; and commit to being an agent for change. The second half of the book offers practical, hands-on advice for preparing for and having a difficult conversation, complete with specific suggestions of what to say--and what not to say. The Bible is used as a resource throughout, but not in a heavy-handed way, making this a valuable self-help manual for people from many walks of life.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From the Back Cover
A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries
Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable—even dangerous—situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don’t know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We’re afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating.
In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships.
• Explains why confrontation is essential in all arenas of life • Shows how healthy confrontation can improve relationships • Presents the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation • Provides tips on how to prepare for the conversation • Shows how to tell people what you want, how to stop bad behavior, and how to deal with counterattack • Gives actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and more
From the Book
Sometimes people get confused in a confrontation because the other person gets them off track. If that happens, remember this formula.
Empathize with their feelings or position, and return to your issue.
Here’s an example.
Joe: "I can’t believe you were offended by my comments. You joke around more than anyone here. That’s pretty hypocritical."
You: "I understand it’s hard for you to see, and I’m glad you meant it as a joke and weren’t trying to be hurtful. What I’m telling you, though, and what I don’t want you to miss, is how it affected me. It hurt me and I don’t want to be talked to like that."
About the Author
Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, and co-host, with Dr. John Townsend, of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounder of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His bestselling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries books and Making Small Groups Work. Dr. Cloud and his wife and two daughters live in Southern California. El Dr. Henry Cloud es un conferenciante de gran popularidad. Con el Dr. John Townsend es anfitrion del programa de radio New Life Live!, ademas de ambos ser fundadores de la Clinica Cloud-Townsend y de la organizacion Cloud-Townsend Resources. Es el autor de varios libros premiados con el reconocimiento Medalla de Oro, entre ellos 'Limites' y 'El poder transformador de los grupos pequenos'. El Dr. Cloud, su esposa y sus dos hijas radican en el Sur de California.
Dr. John Townsend is a psychologist, popular speaker, and cohost of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and a cofounder of Cloud-Townsend clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His best-selling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries. Website: www.drtownsend.com Blog: facebook.com/drjohntownsend Dr. John Townsend -- El Dr. John Townsend es un popular conferencista y un famosisimo autor de exito de ventas. Es graduado de psicologia clinica en Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology de Biola University. Ademas es coautor de numerosos libros incluyendo el ganador de la Medalla de Oro Limites. el es coanfitrion del programa radial emitido a nivel nacional New Life Live!
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
By reading Boundaries Face to Face gives us courage and direction how to handle our life better. It is hard to change but with o
By susie Beeck
Why do we stuff all these things that can change who we are and put barrios in our lives. By reading Boundaries Face to Face gives us courage and direction how to handle our life better. It is hard to change but with one step at a time we can learn so life will get better. Practice in the mirror and trust the information in this book. Give the book to the one you need to talk to and ask them to read so you can work through the issue. You can learn together. Be sure to thank that person for reading the information and working on the problem. Life will get better
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Easy Confrontation!
By Amazon Customer
And you thought there wasn't any such thing as "easy confrontation". That's what we thought, but found confronting others can be not only easy, but also very peaceful and successful. Why get angry, look foolish, and get nothing settled when you can learn to confront people and situations as they occur in a way you're bound to be most satisfied with. Stop going home and wishing you'd said this or that. Learn what to say, when to say it, and how to be most successful with problem people and situations. Then you can go home satisfied with what you said and how things were handled, and get on with your life without looking back.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
We just received this book
By S. Marsala
My wife and I waited a month for the book and it still did not come in when I contacted the seller they responded very fast. It appears the first book got lost in shipping. Hawking Books was very understanding and expedited another book out to us.
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